You may be shocked to hear this former County Democratic Party Chair singing the praises of Donald Trump, also known as “The Donald” or “The Great I Am.” I’ve not lost my marbles, nor do I have bats in the belfry, nor am I nutty as a fruitcake; I have not gone full poodle. No, my support for the Orange Dream is extremely rational:
1. He’s very entertaining. After hours watching his rallies and press conferences, I could view another hundred without an urge to channel surf.
2. I have some very smart and kind friends from around the country who support him. Surely they can’t all be wrong. Can they?
3. He’s first among his peers: Bush bores me; Cruz curdles my blood; Christie clogs my arteries; Fiorina’s a flop; Huckabee merits a har har; Santorum is sanctimonious. Perry? He’s oopstastic.
4. He says what he thinks. His primary opponents say what they think you think they should think.
5. He would pump money into the poorest parts of Texas and greatly reduce unemployment there, what with all those positions for wall builders.
6. As in elementary school, bullies run the world. It’s about time America had its own.
7. He’s mucho media savvy, knowing whom to insult when and which talk show host ring to kiss.
8. He cheats at golf, allowing him to focus his efforts at honesty on more important matters.
9. He’s really ticked off Fox News — something I’ve tried to do for years without success.
10. Last but not least of all, I desperately want Hillary to win in November 2016.