Der Donald Trump is Unlike Der Führer

Friends, Americans, citizens, lend me your eyes. I come to praise Donald Trump, not to compare him to Adolf Hitler. The Donald is no Adolf Hitler:

  • 10291112_1532231767070776_2951155574295941277_nAdolf Hitler was a narcissistic megalomaniac. Trump described himself to Us Weekly staff as “actually very modest.”
  • Hitler’s manifesto is titled Mein Kampf. Trump’s next book is not (instead, “My Fight”).
  • Hitler fanned flames of hatred against the Jews with wild conspiracies. Jews are not Trump’s scapegoat and he merely accused President Obama of secretly supporting terrorism.
  • Hitler took advantage of a national tragedy (Reichstag fire) to grab power. Trump has not burned down the U.S. Capitol.
  • Hitler’s purge led Jews to flee his country. Trump instead wants to ban Muslims from entering.
  • Hitler married a former model from Munich. Trump instead is married to a former model from Sevnica.
  • Hitler grew up in the Catholic church and asserted he acted in accordance with the will of God. Trump by contrast is a former Catholic, now associated with the Presbyterian church, and had 30 evangelical leaders pray over him.
  • Hitler believed women should stay at home and raise the next generation of pure-bred Germans. Trump is fine with women working, even as journalists, so long as they’ve (and I quote here) “got a young and beautiful piece of a–.”
  • Hitler had Kurt Von Schleicher killed in the Night of the Long Knives. Trump probably has not yet read my columns.
  • Hitler snubbed African-American medal winner Cornelius Johnson at the 1936 Olympics. Trump simply labelled African-American election winner Barack Obama as having faked his American birth certificate.
  • Hitler had really bad brown hair. Trump’s hair is orange.
  • Hitler liked to paint in his free time. Trump prefers remote-controlled cars.
  • Hitler often cited wrongdoing by the Communists of Russia to justify his actions. Trump likes Putin, blames the Communists in China for our woes.
  • Hitler made the National Socialist German Workers Party famous with his oratory skills and ability to attract new members. Trump only has drawn new people to the GOP.
  • U.S. white supremacists are not able to vote for Adolf Hitler.
  • Hitler often praised German veterans. Donald Trump instead criticized former prisoner of war and torture victim John McCain for having been captured.
  • Donald Trump never promised to make Germany great again.
  • As a March 13, 2012 article in The Atlantic noted, early press coverage of Hitler misjudged him as a clown, a caricature of himself who could never get elected. Trump instead is now viewed as someone who might get elected.
  • British political leader Neville Chamberlain described the result of his treaty negotiations with Hitler as providing “Peace for our time.” GOP chair Reince Priebus is still seeking a peace treaty between Trump and House Speaker Paul Ryan.
  • The #neverHitler effort failed miserably; #neverTrump still has a chance.
  • Hitler used slave labor to build the Atlantic Wall to prevent an invasion from Great Britain. Trump does not fear a British invasion and will make Mexico pay for his wall.
  • Hitler made a 1939 pact with Stalin that he later broke. Trump, however, plans to honor the terms of any deal with Putin, calling him a great leader as compared to us having a “pathetic” president.
  • Hitler served in the Bavarian Army during World War I, while Trump entirely avoided service in Vietnam with student deferments and purported “bone spurs in his heels.”
  • Hitler lost his first presidential run, in 1932; Trump plans to win in 2016.

In summary, stop this Trump-is-Hitler nonsense. I mean, what’s the worst that can happen?

 

By David R. Schleicher. (c) 2016. http://www.TheContranym.com. This column originally appeared in the Sunday, June 19, 2016 Waco Tribune-Herald.

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